What I Saw at the Zoo Today

1. a polar bear sunning himself, arm thrown across his eyes and snoring happily... bore striking resemblance to napping husband..

2. two leopard turtles pushing each other around... slowest battle ever.

3. Daddy gorilla charge (from behind the glass) at a zoo visitor in pink fleece. Did not realize gorillas had such strong opinions regarding women's sportswear.

4. dozens of women wearing leggings as pants; no, not with a long shirt or dress to cover their derrieres... just leggings. Leggings do not = pants, people.

5. an adorable little girl in the reptile house with a propellor hat. must look into where one can purchase propellor hat.

6. adorable capuchin monkey leaping from branch to branch without stopping... slipped occasionally but just kept moving at a dizzying speend. bore striking resemblance to husband's behavior after consuming frappuccino.

7. beautiful family of giraffes. so relaxing and mellow, they are my favorite animals. they also have the most beautiful eyes. must find out what under-eye regimen they are using; they look very well-rested and refreshed.

8. sleepy koalas who look cuddly and adorable. was told by zookeeper that they can actually be very irritable in the morning, and like to be left alone while they eat their leaves. bears striking resemblance to, well, me.

9. plastic cups with zoo animals printed on them; $11. insane.

10. dozens of people drinking from $11 plastic cups. wearing leggings.